I am Sourita, 28, a Bengali girl. After my breakup, I was lonely, restless, and curious. One night, scrolling through Reddit, I found myself wandering into adult pages I had never dared to open before. That’s when I first entered r/mbullpalace. There, I saw him. Idrees. A tall, strong, fair Kashmiri man — married, father of three, yet carrying a body that made me stop and stare. His posts were raw, confident, and almost dangerous.
Something in me whispered don’t look too long, but I couldn’t pull my eyes away. At first, I told myself it was only curiosity. Just a girl passing the time on the internet. But then Idrees noticed me. He replied. His words were simple, but they burned: “You’re not here by accident, Sourita. I can feel your hunger.” My heart raced. I typed back. One message became two, then ten. The night slipped away as we talked about everything — his strength, my loneliness, his married life, my broken heart.
And before I even realized, I was hooked. Not just to his words, not just to his presence online — but to the image of his body, the forbidden man I shouldn’t want but can’t stop craving. That night was the beginning of my addiction to the forbidden. It has been only a month, but with Idrees, it feels like I have been living another life. Every night, every spare moment, our chats pulled me deeper.
At first it was playful, then confessional, and then it became something else — open in a way we both knew we should not have been. I told him things I had never told any man. He described to me parts of himself I shouldn’t have seen, but couldn’t look away from. One month. That’s all it took for boundaries to vanish. For me to crave his voice when I woke up, his words before I slept. He is married, a father of three, a Kashmiri man — everything that should make me keep my distance. But instead, I keep coming closer. Every conversation feels like stepping into fire. And yet, I don’t want to step out. Examples of Chats.
Me (Sourita): Idrees… I don’t know why I’m talking to you like this. We shouldn’t. You’re married, you have little ones as well… but still, I can’t stop.
Idrees: And yet here you are, Sourita. Because you feel the pull. You want to taste what is forbidden.
Me: When I close my eyes, I imagine your body pressing me against the wall… you’re so much bigger, stronger than me.
Idrees: You will feel every inch of me when I take you to the washroom… bending you over, one hand on your hair, the other gripping your waist.
Me: I’m already wet just reading that. I keep thinking of your size… your cock, so thick and cut… it won’t even fit inside me, will it?
Idrees: It will. Slowly at first… then harder until you forget your own name and only scream mine.
Me: Idrees… you’re destroying me, even through chat. I don’t even recognize myself anymore. I’m addicted.
Idrees: Then stay addicted. Because I want to ruin you again and again.
Me (Sourita): Idrees… tell me honestly. Why do you even need me? You’re a married man. Why a girl like me?
Idrees: Because you are what I am not supposed to touch. You are fire. Every time I think of taking you, it’s breaking every rule. That makes it sweeter.
Me: Your words… they shake me. It makes me feel wanted, but also… wrong. Idrees: That’s why you can’t stop. That’s why I can’t either. The world would hate this, Sourita… but it will be secret…
Me (Sourita): Idrees… why me? Why a Bengali girl when you already have a wife?
Idrees: Because I’ve always heard Bengali girls are different… more submissive, more willing to surrender, more fiery in bed. They give everything. They don’t hold back.
Me: Hearing that makes me feel exposed… like I’m not just Sourita to you, but some idea of what a girl should be.
Idrees: Maybe. But you’re proving it true, aren’t you? Every time we talk, you surrender a little more. That’s why I can’t stay away.
Me (Sourita): Idrees… why me? Why a girl when you already have a wife? Idrees: Because I’ve always heard Bengali girls are different… more submissive, more willing to surrender, more fiery in bed. They give everything. They don’t hold back.
Me: Hearing that makes me feel exposed… like I’m not just Sourita to you, but some idea of what a Bengali girl should be. Idrees: Maybe. But you’re proving it true, aren’t you? Every time we talk, you surrender a little more. That’s why I can’t stay away.
Idrees: Sourita… one month of this. Talking, teasing, imagining. I need to see you. I want you in front of me, not just on a screen.
Me (Sourita): And what if seeing me makes everything too real? You have a family, Idrees. I have my faith. The meeting could break everything.
Idrees: Or it could make everything worth it. You’ve already surrendered your words, your nights, your body in imagination. Now I want the real you. Me: (my heart was pounding as I typed) Then meet me, Idrees. No more hiding. If this is what you want, come and see me. Idrees: One week, Sourita. I can’t take this distance anymore. Let’s meet. Somewhere in between… Delhi. No one will know.
Me (Sourita): Delhi? No, Idrees. If you want me, you’ll come to me. Come to Kolkata. Meet me where I live, not halfway. I don’t want our first time to be rushed in some city in between.
Idrees: (after a pause, his message came through, heavier than before) You want me in Kolkata… in your city, in your space. You really want me to risk everything for you, don’t you? Me: Yes. If you mean what you say, you’ll come. I’m not afraid anymore.
Idrees: Then prepare yourself, Sourita. Because when I do come, I won’t leave you the same. After all those nights of chat, after the Delhi–Kolkata talk, a part of me whispered, maybe he won’t come. Maybe it was only words, a dangerous dream he was spinning for me. And then came his honesty — sharp, unflinching.
Idrees: Sourita, I will not leave my family. That’s not what this is. I can’t. But what I want with you… It’s ours, it’s secret, it’s outside marriage. A world only we know. Those words cut me. They should have ended everything. But instead, I felt a deeper pull. Because he wasn’t promising me forever. He was promising me now. And maybe that was even more addictive.
Me (Sourita): Idrees, listen… I don’t want to marry you either. I know you’ll never leave your family. I’m not asking that. For me too, this is just… a hook-up. A secret. If you can come, come. If not… then keep talking. But you won’t come. I know you can’t. For a while, the screen stayed silent. Then his reply came:
Idrees: You think I can’t? You think I won’t risk it? Don’t tempt me, Sourita. Because if I step into Kolkata, into your arms, I’ll take everything I’ve imagined — and more.
Me: Then prove it. Until then, it’s just talk. After my words, he didn’t reply immediately. But the next message came, heavier than before. Idrees: You’re daring me, Sourita. I can’t stop thinking about you. Every night, every moment, your voice, your words, your body… I see it. I imagine it. And I want it. I will come.
